I always fight it. Whether silently or out loud, I always fight it. I don't want to go outside! I want to stay inside, with my warmth and my fireplace and my computer and my comfy clothes. I don't want to go outside!
But why not? Every time I do, I feel better. We all cheer up. The sunshine and fresh air feel wonderful. My mind appreciates the opportunity to slow down, relax, and enjoy the quiet. Even a walk in the rain lifts our spirits!
And yet I still fight it. Why is it so hard to do the things that we know will make us feel better - physically, emotionally, and spiritually?
Why is it so hard to go to bed earlier at night, knowing I don't feel or act well when I'm short on sleep?
Why is it so hard to start my day quietly with God, even though I know I'll feel more centered if I do?
Why is it so hard to avoid giving in to sugar cravings, despite a history that proves I feel better when I eat fresh foods instead?
Why is it so hard to focus on all I have to be grateful for instead of my frustrations and complaints?
Why is it so hard to commit to memorizing Scripture, hiding those life-giving Words in my heart?
Why is it so hard to close the laptop? To stay on top of the housework? To ask for help when I need it?
Why are we so bent on self-destruction? All of us, our own personal weaknesses?
But then, hasn't that always been the question? Since the beginning of it all, when we chose to ignore reality and believe a lie, embarking on a journey of self-destruction, we've been asking this very question - why.
We follow the stories of self-destruction throughout our history. Repeatedly, we choose fleeting pleasures over lasting joy. We mourn the miraculous. We exchange life for death.
We are like the men in Babylonia, proud in our self-sufficiency. Like Pharaoh, refusing to yield no matter what harm befalls us. The Israelites, scorning that which sustains us. Namaan, believing our way is better. The prodigal son, reckless with that which should be precious to us, blind to the good that we already have. Peter, afraid to accept the best for our lives. The Pharisees, wanting the easy, familiar, and comfortable over the heart-wrenching, soul-touching deepness of truth.
That journey of self-destruction has led us here - Good Friday. And it is good. The Son of God laid down His life for our self-destruction, our sin, our choosing of death.
The cycle has been broken, and our journey towards renewed wholeness has begun.
so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness;
by his wounds you have been healed.
1 Peter 2:24